An Empty Place at the Table

I'm having a hard time counting my blessings today. The holidays are always a little rough and it doesn't seem to change as the years go by. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18 we are instructed to give thanks in everything for it is God's will for us in Christ Jesus. Don't get me wrong... I am very thankful. I am thankful for my amazing son. I am thankful for the air that I breathe. I am thankful for my church, my job, and the many friends and family that God has placed in my life. I am thankful that I live in a country where I can own several Bibles and that I don't have to fear reading the Word of God. I am thankful for Jesus - because of the hope I have in Him, I know that I will see Ron again and I know that, while I am struggling at this moment, Ron is pain free and radiant.

If you are having a hard time thinking about Thanksgiving and feeling like you just want to crawl under the covers and cry, let's try to lift ourselves out - together! Here are some things that we can all be thankful for today, no matter what our circumstances:

• We are saved by His grace
• We are safe in the arms of the Son and the Father
• We have everlasting life in Christ
• We shall never be separated by anything from His love
• We will be where His is in eternity
• We are certain that to die will be gain
• We have the peace of God
• We will be raised with Him in the morning of the resurrection
• We can do all things through Christ
• We have the throne of grace to come to
• We have the blessed hope of a new heaven and a new earth with a new body

The apostle, Paul, knew that the riches he had in Jesus were far greater than any suffering he must endure on earth. He continued to look up, focusing on what was waiting for him... what is waiting for all of us.

My friends, let's adopt Paul's attitude of gratitude as we face another Thanksgiving with an empty place at the table. Instead of looking at that place as empty - how about setting another place at the table? Set a place for Jesus next to the place where your loved one would sit as a visual reminder that is filled with hope. One day we will all be sitting at His table... together. That is something we can all be thankful for.

Wishing you a hope-filled Thanksgiving!

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn

Giving Thanks!

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his steadfast love endures forever!"

This week is a great time to focus on the things we are thankful for and to get into the habit of thankfulness! Life is filled with good days and bad days but, no matter how challenging our circumstances may be or how much our heart may be hurting, we can be grateful that the sun still rises each morning and the sky is filled with the most amazing constellation and that we have air to breath. I recently stumbled across this quote:

"Ralph Waldo Emerson observed that if the constellations appeared only once in a thousand years, what an exciting event it would be. Because they're there every night, we barely look." (On This Day, Robert J. Morgan)

Isn't that so true! We take the everyday miracles for granted because they are there every day. I'm going to make a point of looking at the stars tonight and thanking God for the miracle of the extraordinary constellations.

I was watching Fox News and Friends this morning and Glen Beck was a guest. They were discussing the economy (hmmmm... isn't that at uplifting conversation first thing in the morning?). Mr. Beck has been on a book tour for his new book and he shared an observation has has made during his travels. In the northern part of the country there is fear when discussing the economy. However, in the southeastern part of the country that he referred to as the Bible belt, there is concern but no fear. Before an audience of millions, Mr. Beck said that this is because we have hope in something so much greater. While we may be concerned, we are not fearful.

Hope is what gets me through every hurtful circumstance. No matter what... the King is still on the throne, He is with me in all circumstances and I have Jesus in my heart and a hope in life everlasting. Amen!

May you be filled with hope today my friends.

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn

Accident?

My son, Nick, was an "accident." Ron and I weren't planning on having children for two more years. We were both working and Ron had gone back to school. In two years he would finish school and would return to work full time and we would get pregnant. Yup... we had a plan! And then the positive sign on the stick!

I remember being nervous about telling Ron I was pregnant. He was much more of a goal-setter than I was. He made lists and actually stuck to them. (I make lists and then change them as often as my mood changes.) I was waiting for the look of panic to cross his otherwise calm and peaceful face - the look that said, "Wait. This is not on my list for two more years." I was expecting to watch as he then made adjustments to his list of short-term and long-term goals to accommodate this unexpected turn of events. Instead... he started to laugh! He was actually tickled pink... literally!

Ron was a great dad and we couldn't wait to have a second child. This one would be a little girl. (Yup... we still thought we could plan everything!) Then Ron was diagnosed with cancer before Nick's second birthday. We had just started to "plan" on our next pregnancy. We even chose her name. While Ron had a great prognosis, the doctor said that the treatment would make him sterile. There would be no more children. At the time I could have cared less. All I wanted was for Ron to get through treatment so we could watch our sweet little boy grow up and then grow old together.

Nick was three and a half when his daddy died. He is now 15 and I often think about the plans that Ron and I had for our family. If we had stuck to our plan, I wouldn't have Nick. Sure... life would be less smelly without a teenage boy in the house but I am so very grateful to have him in my life. He looks more and more like his dad every day and he makes me very proud... almost all the time (smile).

I have a verse that I keep on my desk: "What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do." (Isaiah 46:11) To me, this verse says that I can make all the plans that I want but ultimately, whatever God has promised to bring about is what's going to happen. His promises are true. His Word is life. He promises to comfort and He does. He fills my empty space. He gives me hope through Christ.

My little accident was no accident. Nick is a miracle. (I'll try to remember that the next time I find a week-old bowl of curdled cereal in his room.)

Blessings,
LeAnn

Promise Kept!

OK Friends... I promised that I would get off my soapbox and write something positive. (Smile) I noticed that two or three of my posts this month were bitter rantings. Now, they were responses to something that had happened but still... there is no need for me to get on my soap box about it. So today I am keeping my promise to write something more positive!

This my not seem all that positive in the beginning but it is what it is...

From the time Ron was diagnosed with cancer to the time he changed his address and went home to Jesus, I only saw him cry once. He cried for me. He cried because he felt guilty about leaving me and Nick alone. He cried because he felt guilty about not having life insurance. He cried because I was going to have to raise our son alone.

I guess it's a guy thing. He was feeling guilty about shirking on what he felt were his responsibilities as the man of the house. It broke my heart to see him so broken over things that didn't matter to me in the least. I just wanted Ron. I didn't care about the finances.

In my own quirky way, I decided to "cheer him up" (ok - that sounds lame) by listing all the ways my life would be just fine after he was gone. Of course I mentioned how much easier it was going to be to clean the bathroom since he wouldn't be here to destroy the toilet seat (or the floor around it). I wouldn't have to pick up his dirty underwear and put them in the laundry basket (which was only a few feet from where he tossed them on the floor). I could wear slimming black every day for the rest of my life and no one could say anything about it! I would get full control of the TV remote control. (No more Star Trek episodes!) I could listen to "chick music" and watch "chick flicks" without having him make fun of me. Oh... and there would be no more farting or belching in the house!

Some people may think that I was being quite morbid but it worked for us. Ron and I loved to laugh and finding something to laugh about in the midst of such sadness helped us cope.

I now have a teenage son and guess what....? All of the things that I told Ron that I wouldn't have to put up with after he was gone... I'm putting up with! Yup - I have a teenager who misses the toilet seat, throws his underwear on the floor (a few feet from the laundry basket), makes fun of me when I watch a "chick flick" and laughs hysterically every time he farts. He's turned into his dad and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Sweet (and smelly) Blessings,
LeAnn

I'm Sorry!

Ya'll... I just realized that my recent posts are a bit negative and have a single-focus... other's imposing their opinions and expectations on us. I am so sorry and I pray that this has not caused you to feel discouraged!

While this type of "advice" is common... it is not the only advice or support that I have received, nor, I certainly hope, have you. It's just that this type of unsolicited advice seems to illicit a strong response from me! Actually, I have many amazing friends and supporters who simply love on me... just the way I am. I pray that you have wonderful friends in your life too and I promise to make my next post one of encouragement!

Joy-Filled Blessings!
LeAnn

For Kristy

Do you suppose that, along with the label "widow" comes a sign plastered across our forehead that says, "Why don't you tell me what I should do now?" Now I am the first to admit that I made some REALLY stupid decisions within the first year after Ron died. But, they were my decisions to make. No one was hurt by them and I learned from both good choices and my poor choices. Maybe this is just part of the grieving process?

For my friend Kristy, I have walked this road before you and I know how frustrating it can be when others have expectations for you. Here is what I have learned along the way:

• You can't please everyone.
• No one else knows what is best for you.
• No one else can tell you what to do with your life or how you should move on.
• You will have good days and bad days... neither defines who you are or how you are doing.
• Walls will definitely appear before you - with no warning. It's OK... This will happen. Don't worry about climbing over it or even going around it. You will when you are ready. Maybe the wall before you is a sign that you should stop, rest, and pray? Don't let the wall intimidate or discourage you.
  
• Go easy on yourself! Give yourself a break! It has been less than a year. I didn't move on (at least the way others expected me to) for a couple of years. I just went through the motions of life until God showed me that I was ready for something more.
• You have no idea what God has planned for your life. Let the possibilities excite you as you wait in anticipation.
• No matter where you are, and where you choose to live, your home is in God's heart and in the palm of His hand. You do have a place where you "reside" always... even as you search for your earthly residence.
  
• And... hold on to this truth:
  

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." (Galatians 1:10)

I believe in you Kristy. What you do with your life and which path you choose to take is between you and God... no one else. I think you are doing GREAT!

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn

Jesus Wept

Have you ever felt discouraged or even "guilty" when a Christian friend or someone from church felt the need to tell you that you have no reason to cry over the death of a loved one? You know what I'm talking about. People who say that if you truly were a Christian you wouldn't shed a tear because you have hope in Jesus...

Baloney!

Knowing that we will see our husbands, wives, parents, children again in Heaven does not exactly eliminate our pain. The loss, even temporary, is still very painful. I cry when my son leaves for a couple weeks in the summer to visit grandparents. I miss him when he is gone. I'm certainly not comparing my son's two week absence to the loss of a loved one. I'm simply saying that missing someone that you love is a very real emotion and one that elicits tears.

I cried myself to sleep every night for six months after Ron died. I missed him terribly. I wanted to tell him about my day. I wanted to hear his laugh. I wanted him to take out the garbage! I know exactly where Ron is and I celebrate the time I had with him and I celebrate that I will see him again. But... I still weep. I still miss him. My grief and my tears do not minimize my faith! Crying out to God makes my faith stronger. Turning to Him strengthens our relationship.

Jesus, himself, wept. He wept in the garden. He wept when His friend Lazarus died. He did not weep out of grief for Lazarus since He knew that He was about to raise him from the dead. But perhaps Jesus wept out of sadness for those around Him. He wept over the effects of death.

Any significant loss can bring on a state of grief. It could be the loss of a job, the loss of a marriage to divorce, the loss of a beloved pet, or the loss of a home. Grief is a strong emotion and it is not normal - nor is it healthy - to keep these emotions bottled up inside. Let it out. Cry, cry, cry!

My friends, Jesus wept and He welcomes our tears. Cry out to Him when you are grieving and let Him wipe the tears away. Grow closer to Him as you allow Him to comfort you.

Sweet, Tear-Filled Blessings,
LeAnn