Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Promise Kept!

OK Friends... I promised that I would get off my soapbox and write something positive. (Smile) I noticed that two or three of my posts this month were bitter rantings. Now, they were responses to something that had happened but still... there is no need for me to get on my soap box about it. So today I am keeping my promise to write something more positive!

This my not seem all that positive in the beginning but it is what it is...

From the time Ron was diagnosed with cancer to the time he changed his address and went home to Jesus, I only saw him cry once. He cried for me. He cried because he felt guilty about leaving me and Nick alone. He cried because he felt guilty about not having life insurance. He cried because I was going to have to raise our son alone.

I guess it's a guy thing. He was feeling guilty about shirking on what he felt were his responsibilities as the man of the house. It broke my heart to see him so broken over things that didn't matter to me in the least. I just wanted Ron. I didn't care about the finances.

In my own quirky way, I decided to "cheer him up" (ok - that sounds lame) by listing all the ways my life would be just fine after he was gone. Of course I mentioned how much easier it was going to be to clean the bathroom since he wouldn't be here to destroy the toilet seat (or the floor around it). I wouldn't have to pick up his dirty underwear and put them in the laundry basket (which was only a few feet from where he tossed them on the floor). I could wear slimming black every day for the rest of my life and no one could say anything about it! I would get full control of the TV remote control. (No more Star Trek episodes!) I could listen to "chick music" and watch "chick flicks" without having him make fun of me. Oh... and there would be no more farting or belching in the house!

Some people may think that I was being quite morbid but it worked for us. Ron and I loved to laugh and finding something to laugh about in the midst of such sadness helped us cope.

I now have a teenage son and guess what....? All of the things that I told Ron that I wouldn't have to put up with after he was gone... I'm putting up with! Yup - I have a teenager who misses the toilet seat, throws his underwear on the floor (a few feet from the laundry basket), makes fun of me when I watch a "chick flick" and laughs hysterically every time he farts. He's turned into his dad and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Sweet (and smelly) Blessings,
LeAnn

2 comments:

Luanne said...

Funny post LeAnn.

For what its worth I didn't think your other posts sounded negative. We all know people who say or do dumb things when someone is grieving, so it helps to read what others consider hurtful. I would have to guess I've made a few blunders myself without meaning to.

This post was definitely along a different line. There are certain male characteristics that we can all relate to.

Luanne

Retta said...

It amazes me how perfect God can be…He knew, though you don’t necessarily like it, you would need that unmistakable, yet often disgusting, male companionship. That you, in a since, would be lost without picking up dirty undergarments that had been carelessly tossed inches from their designated place in your life. And the fact that you have shared with us the joy of such an unwelcomed task is a blessing to us all. Thank you!

Hope you don’t mind a non-widowed single, who was lead to share and hopefully encourage. I couldn’t begin to know or understand your pain…but I do understand and recognize Love (aka God) in you.