Yummy Memories!

I just posted on my other blog about some of the meals that I remember from my childhood. (Read the post here) This led to a conversation with my Proverbs 31 Ministries sisters during lunch today. We shared some of the meals that our moms made for us and we talked about the meals we make for our kids. We also talked about missing those recipes that our moms and grandmothers made for us.

Melissa's mom has stage 4 lung cancer. Melissa spends as much time with her as she can, enjoying laughing and sharing memories together. Yesterday her mom pulled out her recipes and Melissa listened as her mom commented on some of them. This made me think about the special meals that my grandmothers made and how sad I am that I only have a few of their recipes.

Those of us who have lost a loved one treasure our memories. Many of my memories are tied to a smell or, in the case of my grandmothers, to certain meals. It's not just about the actual food - it's about the memories attached to the food. It's about how happy they were to see the enjoyment on my face as I took that first bite of the meal they prepared with so much love. It's about the company, the conversations, and the laughter that surrounded the meals.

Every year on Ron's birthday, I prepare one of his favorite meals (or at least part of it - since Nick doesn't like it). Ron loved my grilled chicken and mushroom lasagna and German chocolate cake! The grin that spread across his face and the twinkle in his eye when I made this meal on his birthday is something I will never forget and the memory brings a smile to my face even now.

I encourage you to celebrate the memory of a loved one with your family by preparing a favorite meal, like I do on Ron's birthday. Nick and I laugh as I share silly stories about his dad as we eat the meal. Instead of spending Ron's birthday being sad because he is no longer with us, we spend it celebrating his life.

Here's another thought...

Do you have an elderly parent, aunt, grandmother that holds treasured recipes? If you do, how about putting together a cookbook/scrapbook with the recipes, some photos, and personal notes. Have them help you put this together, including their own memories of special occasions or silly stories. If you have recipes in their own handwriting... all the better! Make copies and include them. Make sure you make a book for everyone. What an amazing gift this will make for all members of the family and what a great way to pass along the recipes and stories to your children and their children...

Include your holiday traditions in your book. What a great way to pass these traditions on to future generations.

This type of book would also make a great wedding gift for a new daughter-in-law. Not long after my brothers were married, I put together a cookbook that included some of our family recipes. You know... mom's meatloaf (because everyone else's meatloaf is awful), Granddaddy's chili, and the recipes for all the Christmas cookies mom made every year. My brothers were as excited as their wives to have these recipes. Honestly, I don't know if my brother, Brett, could get through the holidays without mom's famous cherry bars!

My sweet friends, putting together a book of recipes, photos, and stories is a wonderful way to spend time with those you love, remember those you have lost, and keep memories alive for future generations.

I'm suddenly craving mom's meatloaf. Her secret ingredient... Rice Krispies! Strange but true!

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn

The Good, The Bad , and the Just Plain Gross!

Ya'll... there are actually some days that I am glad that no one is sleeping next to me at night! I have had the crud for the past week now and about the only thing that would make me feel any worse is knowing that someone I loved had to look at me or smell me in this condition! Seriously!!!!

There is snot dripping out of my nose... constantly.

The only thing I have been able to stomach for several days is Ginger Ale so when I cough... I fart.

When I cough, it sounds like I am hacking up a lung... or at the very least a fur ball.

My eyes are puffy, my lips are chapped, and I have blown my nose so many times that it is crusty and peeling... looking very much like crusty boogers!

I wake up in the middle of the night with cough drop drool pooling on my pillow.

If I don't have a tissue handy when I feel a sneeze coming on... it's best to run for cover 'cause part of my brain may come spewing out.

I'm pretty sure even Shrek would be grossed out at this point!

If you are wondering about "The Good" it's that it seems my condition is improving and I may in fact live after all. It was touch and go for a while but... I'm on the mend and able to laugh at the grossness!

I pray that the crud has not spread to your home but, if it has, I pray you find the humor in it!

Drippy Blessings,
LeAnn

Care for the Caregiver

Someone that I love very much is in pain. Her mother, Becky, has advanced stage 4 cancer. Becky is in a great deal of physical pain and has started losing control of her own body.

I remember all to well the feelings of helplessness as I watched my husband fade away from me, losing his memory, his ability to reason, and then his ability to walk, speak, and control bodily functions. If you have lived through this, you know what I'm talking about. It is simply one of the worst things imaginable... watching someone you love so dearly slip slowly and painfully away.

Listening to my friend, Melissa, talk about her mother and her mother's husband, I am reminded of my own feelings as Ron's "caregiver." Friends, caregivers need care! Melissa could hear the stress in her mother's husband's voice. She could hear that he was about to break and this compelled her to drop everything and rescue him. Yes, this is her mother and of course she wants to help care for her. However, as I suspect many of you have experienced, many times the one who is sick doesn't want help. They feel guilty... they don't want to be a burden.

This is a rough place to be and there is no perfect solution. You want to respect the person's wishes and their feelings but, it's important that they understand your feelings as well. Here are a few suggestions based on my experience:

Like my friend, Melissa... don't take "no" for an answer. Trust me - if you aren't there for them now, you will regret it later. Express your feelings. Let them know that they are not a burden and that it is a blessing to you that you are able to care for them. Tell them that you couldn't imagine being any place else.

Treasure this time! Time spent together sharing your heart and caring for someone you love is never wasted.

If you are visiting someone who is chronically or terminally ill, bring something for the person's caregiver when you visit. Don't overlook them. They need your prayers and support too. (Don't forget those caring for aging parents!)

Give a caregiver a break! I remember how difficult it was to take a shower or a nap. If someone didn't come to help, I simply couldn't bath or sleep. If Ron was left unattended, he pulled his IVs out of his arm so I never left his side. When you combine your emotional pain with exhaustion and frustration, you are an explosion waiting to happen.

I hope my friend Melissa is a reminder that the caregiver needs care too. If someone in your life is caring for someone right now, pray about what you can do to care for them.

Blessings,
LeAnn

The Little Things

How many of us spend so much time waiting for the big things that we don't even notice the little blessings that occur each day? I know I've been guilty of this!

During the first months after Ron died it was all I could do to get through each day. I was on auto-pilot most of the time. I did just what needed to get done and spent the rest of my time pretending that everything was OK. That, in itself, was exhausting!

Here's what I learned... and continue to learn...

God is there all the time.

No matter what.

In all things.

In good times and in bad.

We just have to look for Him.

We have to notice and be grateful for the little blessings.

The ones that take place in extraordinary ways in the midst of our ordinary days.

If we are too distracted by what's going wrong in our lives, we may miss the extraordinary! If we are too busy pretending that life is OK when deep down we are not OK, we may miss His presence in our lives.

I NEVER want to miss His presence in my life.

I NEVER want to be so busy that I miss the extraordinary.

I NEVER want to be so consumed with waiting for the big miracle, that I miss the little miracles... the little miracles that He spoon feeds to us to keep us going and to keep us mindful of His presence.

I was mindful of His presence last week when I went to get my hair colored (not in my budget) without knowing the cost and the gal looked at me and said, "I read your article in the P31 Woman magazine. I didn't know you were a single-mom. Why don't you tell me what you can afford and that's what my services will cost from now on."

I was mindful of His presence when this same gal told me she needed 20 Bibles for the inner-city youth she and her husband work with and, on that same day, we received a donation that would cover the cost of the Bibles.

I was mindful of His presence when He told me to take off my favorite necklace and give it to a woman in my Sunday School class. I found out the next day that she had been dealing with issues of unworthiness. God showed her that she was worthy by giving her something beautiful.

My friends, don't miss an opportunity to feel His presence in your day-to-day lives. He is there in the midst of our ordinary days... He carries us on our not-so-good days and knocks our socks off when we open our hearts to His goodness and mercy.

How has God revealed Himself to you lately?

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn

Happy Valentine's Day?!

My sweet, patient friends. It has been a whole month since I posted on this blog! I don't know where the time goes. My schedule has just been too full. In fact... I haven't even had time to take down my Christmas decorations! That is my priority for this weekend. I did manage to get the tree out of the house around the first of the year. It was a live tree so I figured it would become a fire hazard if it sat around inside!

Valentine's day is this weekend. What an awful holiday for us! Instead of dwelling on the fact that our loves currently have a different address (smile), let's focus on our Greatest Love - the Passionate Pursuer of our hearts...

I know everything about you.
(Psalm 139:1)

In Me you live and move and have your being.
(Acts 17:28)

I CHOSE you when I planned creation.
(Ephesians 1:11-12)

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
(Psalm 139:14)

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love.
(1 John 4:16)

It is My desire to lavish My love on you.
(1 John 3:1)

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
(Jeremiah 29:11)

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
(Jeremiah 31:3)

I rejoice over you with singing.
(Zephaniah 3:17)

For you are My treasured possession.
(Exodus 19:5)

I desire to establish you with all My heart and all My soul.
(Jeremiah 32:41)

If you seek Me with all your heart, you will find Me.
(Deuteronomy 4:29)

Delight in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
(Psalm 37:4)

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you.
(Psalm 34:18)

Nothing will ever separate you from My love!
(Romans 8:38-39)

My sweet friends, Valentine's Day is definitely NOT my favorite holiday but... I rejoice in God's amazing and overwhelming love for each of us and I pray that He will fill you with more love than your hearts can contain.

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn

Poem for the New Year

I was doing some research for my women's Sunday School session this week and I came across a poem that I wanted to share with you. I would love to give credit to the author, but none was mentioned.

A New Year’s Prayer

May God make your year a happy one!
Not by shielding you from all sorrows and pain,
But by strengthening you to bear it, as it comes;
Not by making your path easy,
But by making you sturdy to travel any path;
Not by taking hardships from you,
But by taking fear from your heart;
Not by granting you unbroken sunshine,
But by keeping your face bright, even in the shadows;
Not by making your life always pleasant,
But by showing you when people and their causes need you most,
and by making you anxious to be there to help.
God’s love, peace, hope and joy to you for the year ahead.

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn

I Survived New Year's Eve!

Well - I survived Christmas and the dreaded New Year's Eve! When I wasn't working, I spent much of my time in my jammies watching Christmas movies and working on my messages for an upcoming retreat.

Have you ever noticed how many Christmas movies are about a widow with a son? And have you noticed that there is always a perfect male character who, for some reason, has never married, is extremely handsome, is well-adjusted, has a steady income, a great sense of humor, is intelligent, etc? Sometimes he actually rides up on a horse!

Seriously! What's up with this?! I hate these movies and yet I find myself watching them every year. I don't know about your world but in mine... this scenario just isn't realistic. Oh... did I mention that the widow is always thin and gorgeous?!

I'm thinking of writing my own screenplay. First... the "heroine" will be a size 14 not a size 2! Her house won't be perfectly clean. Her child will have dirty clothes all over his floor and he won't have perfect little dimples in his cherubic face! She will struggle to be a good mom and to find quality time to spend with her child while having to work full time to pay the bills. She will accidentally put toothpaste on her face and benzoil peroxide on her toothbrush. Her child will argue with her and she will snap back at him. They will be late to school at least one day a week. She will cry herself to sleep at night.

Oh... when Mr. Perfect rides up on his horse... she recognizes that anyone that looks that good and has all his perfect qualities but has never married... is actually a Ted Bundy or a cross dresser!

I don't mean to be pessimistic but honestly, those movies are just a fantasy. They leave me, momentarily, thinking that this could happen to me. They create an unrealistic dream. I'm very briefly hopeful before I crash back to reality.

OK - be honest... have you ever sat through these movies and fought the urge to throw things at the television? What's your reality?

That's it for today. I have to go buy some fat jeans!

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn