Accident?

My son, Nick, was an "accident." Ron and I weren't planning on having children for two more years. We were both working and Ron had gone back to school. In two years he would finish school and would return to work full time and we would get pregnant. Yup... we had a plan! And then the positive sign on the stick!

I remember being nervous about telling Ron I was pregnant. He was much more of a goal-setter than I was. He made lists and actually stuck to them. (I make lists and then change them as often as my mood changes.) I was waiting for the look of panic to cross his otherwise calm and peaceful face - the look that said, "Wait. This is not on my list for two more years." I was expecting to watch as he then made adjustments to his list of short-term and long-term goals to accommodate this unexpected turn of events. Instead... he started to laugh! He was actually tickled pink... literally!

Ron was a great dad and we couldn't wait to have a second child. This one would be a little girl. (Yup... we still thought we could plan everything!) Then Ron was diagnosed with cancer before Nick's second birthday. We had just started to "plan" on our next pregnancy. We even chose her name. While Ron had a great prognosis, the doctor said that the treatment would make him sterile. There would be no more children. At the time I could have cared less. All I wanted was for Ron to get through treatment so we could watch our sweet little boy grow up and then grow old together.

Nick was three and a half when his daddy died. He is now 15 and I often think about the plans that Ron and I had for our family. If we had stuck to our plan, I wouldn't have Nick. Sure... life would be less smelly without a teenage boy in the house but I am so very grateful to have him in my life. He looks more and more like his dad every day and he makes me very proud... almost all the time (smile).

I have a verse that I keep on my desk: "What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do." (Isaiah 46:11) To me, this verse says that I can make all the plans that I want but ultimately, whatever God has promised to bring about is what's going to happen. His promises are true. His Word is life. He promises to comfort and He does. He fills my empty space. He gives me hope through Christ.

My little accident was no accident. Nick is a miracle. (I'll try to remember that the next time I find a week-old bowl of curdled cereal in his room.)

Blessings,
LeAnn