Happily Never After

OK... I survived Christmas.

New Year's Eve is another story. It's my least favorite day of the year.

I know that it should be a time for counting my blessings and praising God for all the good things that have happened over the last year. And, of course, looking forward in anticipation to what He has in store for the year ahead. But, each year I somehow manage to find myself stuck in the pit. You know... focusing on what I don't have instead of what I do.

With each new year I lose hope in ever getting my "happily ever after." Yes, I know that I am blessed to have an amazing son, a great mom, wonderful friends, an awesome job, and Jesus who loves me without measure. But... at the end of the day... I still go to bed alone. I am still looking at a future with no kiss at midnight year after year after year after year...

I know that many of you feel the same way. Today is just plain hard. But tomorrow will be better and I'll try to stay busy and I'll try to refocus my thoughts on what I do have in my life. But for today, I'm just going to have a good cry and try to get through it.

I'm praying for all of you my sweet friends. Praying that God will be your portion today.

"Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
(Isaiah 41:10)

In His Love,
LeAnn

Surviving Christmas

Oh my... here we are again. Another Christmas without someone we love. December is a hard month to get through when you have lost someone you love so much.

This year hasn't been as hard for me as some years have been. (Although it's not over yet and I am hormonal!) I am keeping myself very busy with lots of projects and activities. And, I'm focusing on the gift of Jesus and on giving back to Him this Christmas. After all... it is His birthday! I can't think of a greater gift to give Him than to serve "the least of these" in His name.

With that in mind, here's how I'm surviving Christmas this year:

I am pouring myself into the lives of others. There is ALWAYS someone who is feeling worse than I am. And there is ALWAYS a need greater than my own.

Check with your pastor or with the social services agency in your area and find out if there is a family in need this Christmas. You can provide Christmas dinner and/or gifts for a family that otherwise would have nothing this year.

Serve at your local soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Nick and I also put together a Christmas gift bag for everyone who came for the hot meal. We included an orange, peanut butter crackers, socks, toothbrush and toothpaste, chocolate, lots of homemade Christmas cookies, shampoo, deodorant, and gloves.

Collect blankets, socks, coats, and gloves as a project. Bring the items to a local shelter. I promise these items will be a tremendous blessing to those who will spend the night on the street in freezing temperatures!

Consider working with an organization like Samaritan's Purse where you can spend as many hours as you would like putting boxes together for those who are less fortunate.

Visit an assisted living or retirement center. I am always surprised by how many people end up alone at Christmas with no visitors! Some of these precious people seem forgotten. It breaks my heart! They LOVE visitors.

If you will be spending Christmas alone, find out if there are other members of your church who will also be alone. Plan a fun dinner or potluck and include everyone who would have been alone. Spend the day together. Play silly games and watch the most ridiculous Christmas movie. (One that will force you to laugh in spite of yourself.) Good food and fellowship is always a good thing!

OK - these are just a few ideas. This may or may not work for you but, for me, keeping busy and keeping focused on what would make God happy helps me get through Christmas with a more joyful heart. Instead of being "me-focused" I am focusing my energy outward. I am less aware of what I don't have and more aware of the joy of doing for others. Blessing someone else truly will bless you.

My sweet friends, I will be praying for you in the days ahead. I pray that God will be everything you need... that He will fill every empty space... and that you will see Him in extraordinary ways.

Merry CHRISTmas!
LeAnn

It's the Happiest Time of the Year... At Least That's What the Song Says

I woke up this morning in a funk and haven't been able to shake it. The funk started creeping in about a week ago but my in-laws' visit and our trip to Charleston over Thanksgiving kept me a little distracted. This morning I am back in my normal routine so the funk covered me like a dark cloud.

With Thanksgiving, my anniversary, Christmas, New Years, and then my birthday the following week, this time of the year is always a struggle. I try my best to count my blessings but the losses and the loneliness still manage to creep in.

Tomorrow would have been my 20th anniversary. Ron and I would have spent this weekend on a romantic getaway. Instead, I will be doing laundry, running errands, cleaning the house, and trying to remain joyful as I decorate the house for Christmas.

Christmas will be quiet at my house. It's just me and Nick. He will spend the day in his "man-cave" playing video games on the computer and I will spend the day watching unrealistic movies on the Hallmark channel. You know the ones... some perfect dude strolls into town and falls in love with the single-mom and they live happily ever after. Yeah... like that really happens.

New Years Eve will be depressing as will my birthday. These are just anniversaries of another year of being alone. Hmmmm... who wants to celebrate that?

Uggghhh... no wonder I'm in a funk.

Now I have a choice. I can either wallow in the funk or choose to be joyful. I definitely choose joy. But... it takes some effort. You wouldn't think so, would you? Seems like a no-brainer. But pulling yourself out of the pit is hard work when all you want to do is cry and crawl under the covers and wait until February. Oh... maybe February is too early with Valentine's Day and all :(

I'm going to pull myself out of the deep pit one step at a time by counting my blessings.

I have Jesus! No matter what is missing from my life... Jesus is ALWAYS there. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. It's His hand that reaches down to pull me up when I'm in the pit.

I have an amazing son who, even though he would rather stay in his man-cave and doesn't snuggle with mommie like he used to, is turning into a fine Godly young man (and one day, hopefully, will provide me with grandchildren to spoil).

I have an amazing "job." It's hard to call it a job really. It's a calling. It's my family. Jesus is my CEO so... like... can it get any better? I work with the most amazing women who make sacrifices so that they can work together for HIS glory. And, Lysa is the most supportive and generous boss in the world! Seriously!

I have wonderful friends. Not a lot of friends... just a handful of great friends. The kind that will do anything for you. The kind that extend grace and laugh WITH you when you do something stupid. The kind that love you no matter what.

Nick and I have a home (thanks to my mom), a car that runs (thanks to Luann), food on our table, clothes on our backs, a cat that drives us crazy, and our health. All blessings... even the cat.

We have a wonderful church family. We have been members of Spirit of Joy for ten years now and I am honored to worship alongside brothers- and sisters-in-Christ who stand together on the Word of God instead of conforming to what the world tells us.

OK - I'm not all the way out of the pit but I am definitely getting closer to the light! Like I said... it isn't easy. It takes a lot of effort and, when you are in the pit, you are already kind of exhausted and drained. It's kind of a nasty little cycle, isn't it?

Today, my friends, I am counting my blessings and I count you among them. I will be praying for you as you go through this holiday season together. I pray that Jesus will fill every empty space and that He will bring you the kind of peace that only He can provide. I pray that you will find moments of joy and reasons to smile. I pray that you will find much to be thankful for. I pray that God will reveal Himself to you in a very tangible way. And I pray that your life will glorify His Name.

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn