Scents and Sensibility

A photograph or a song can bring back so many memories but, for me, the strongest memories seem to be attached to my sense of smell. Memories of my maternal grandmother come flooding back any time I get a whiff of Shalimar perfume or Clorets gum. She always wore Shalimar and she always had Clorets in her purse. She never took that little box out without offering the square gum to everyone else. I get that warm fuzzy feeling whenever I smell either fragrance but, the combination of the two will bring back the most wonderful memories. I recall her laugh, her tone of voice, and how special she made each of her grandchildren feel when it was our turn to spend the weekend with her.

It might not make sense that wonderful memories are attached to the familiar fragrances that surrounded my NaNa, but painful memories are attached to the fragrances that surrounded my husband. Both are no longer with me. But... things don't always make sense.

A few years after Ron died, I went to visit my in-laws who live on the island where Ron and I lived. As we drove from the airport to the ferry dock, I was absolutly fine as we passed the restaurants that Ron and I enjoyed and the building where we worked together and where we met. But the moment we got close enough to the ferry to smell the salt water and the fish, I fell into the pit! It was as if the familiar smells overwhelmed me and pulled me down.

Even now, eleven years later, certain scents will send me spinning. I have a very hard time going into a hospital or being around anyone who is in their final weeks of their earthly life. I know it is aweful to think about or to mention but... death has a smell. The memory of it lingers and haunts me. It instantly brings back Ron's final weeks and the look of cancer - the look I have tried so hard to forget.

While I dread the memories that are attached to the smells of Ron's final weeks, in some ways they have been a blessing. They bring me back to that place of overwhelming grief and sadness that invaded my heart during the first weeks and months after Ron died. I don't exactly welcome these feelings but God always uses our pain for good if we allow Him to.

Over the past few months I have received numerous emails and prayer requests from others who have recently lost someone very close to them. Because I can so easily recall the smell and bring on the memories, I am able to truly understand their pain and it better equips me to comfort them and pray for them. Does this make me sad? Absolutely. But it also helps me when I am able to comfort someone else. God is not wasting my pain and this actually brings me comfort. It gives my pain a purpose and that encourages me.

Do certain smells bring back memories for you? Good ones or bad ones... I would love to hear from you.

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn

Love Language

God truly knows my love language... not that I'm surprised.

I have a lot going on these days. You can say that my plate is overflowing. Every now and then, when I get overwhelmed, I can start to feel sorry for myself. I miss having someone to share the load. Sometimes I just plain feel lonely and miss Ron. This can be brought on by the oddest things and most of the time there is no rhyme or reason for it. It just is. Suddenly, without warning, I'm back in that pit.

This week I found myself overwhelmed, not sleeping well, and falling into the pit of loneliness. I'm not sure what started this spiral downward but it doesn't really matter.

During my quiet time with God one morning several months ago, God seemed to be saying to me, "Jesus was lonely, too." I had never really thought about that before but now it seemed to make perfect sense.

Jesus spent so much of His time on earth pouring himself into the lives of others. Something about this clicked in my brain... and in my heart. Instead of turning my feelings of despair inward and falling into a pit, I could pour myself into the lives of others. (Hmmmm... a lesson from the Bible - go figure!) It's amazing how quickly I feel better about myself and my situation when I'm helping someone else. I almost forget what my problem was in the first place because my focus is redirected.

God knows that this is what gets me out of my pit so for the past 24 hours He has nudged me to do specific things for specific people. Isn't it awesome the way He orchestrates stuff like this?! Nothing is trivial to Him if it matters to us. A handful of people in my life (and a couple of strangers) needed to hear from Him. I needed to be used by Him. He put it all together and I get the tremendous blessing of being used by God to bless others. In the process, I'm the one who feels blessed. Doesn't it just blow your mind the way God loves us exactly the way we need to be loved?

God knows my love language! He let me see and feel His presence in tangible ways over the last 24 hours. He whispered in my ear to pick up a little something for a couple of friends and to bring lunch to a handful of people at church today. Nothing extraordinary... except His hand in it all.

Instead of crying tears of loneliness today - I cried tears of gratitude for a Heavenly Father who loves me so much that He reached out to me in my love language. I'm a lucky gal! I'm the daughter of the King of Kings. I'm a Princess and everyone knows that princesses are special!

I still feel overwhelmed and my plate is still overflowing but... I'm definitely not in the pit!

Sweet Blessings,
Princess LeAnn

A Celebration of Life

Today I cry tears of sadness and tears of joy. My sweet friend, Anne, went to live with Jesus. I cry tears of sadness because I won't see her radiant smile and twinkling eyes... at least for a while. And I cry tears of sadness for her family and friends who have to go through the days, months and years ahead without her beside them. But I also cry tears of joy as I know exactly where she is and that she couldn't be happier.

Anne "is" one of the most amazing women I have ever known. No matter what her circumstances, she remained a true reflection of Christ. Through her cancer treatment successes and failures, she praised God. Anne never wasted a moment and her life is truly a testimony. Even in death, she is making a difference. I can only imagine how much the Kingdom has grown because of how she lived her life on earth.

Anne's husband, Carl, wrote this late last night and I wanted to share it with you. What a beautiful reflection of a life well lived:

Anne chose joy! 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances." She is now pain free and in the loving hands of her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 4:6-8, "For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith. Now these is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day- and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for him appearing."

John 11:35 "Jesus wept." If God can cry then so can we. I do not know how long David, Patricia, and I will grieve, but I am sure it will be a long time. I remember that when Anne and I first met, she drove a Saab with a license plate that read "SOBSTRY". Anne always loved sentimental movies. She lived one at the end of her earthly life. Anne is our love story. Sometimes the deepest love is the most painful. The foot of her bed was surrounded by flowers that were brought by her family.

We will always have Anne in our hearts and in our minds until we are reunited. But even in these difficult times, we must always remember that Anne is not "was", but "is". As John 11:25 teaches, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. So you believe this?" Anne and I hope that you -- our family and friends -- will embrace the words of John 11:25, and that they may provide you with peace and comfort as they do us.

My sweet friends, please keep Anne's family in your prayers. And, as a tribute to Anne, please share Jesus with someone today.

Blessings,
LeAnn

YIPES - I've been "tagged"

Oh my! I just noticed that Luanne at www.lpgodspots.blogspot.com "tagged" me. I had no idea what that meant so I had to check it out. I guess I'm old 'cause I thought getting "tagged" was what happened when you were the slow runner! I hope I'm doing this right...

The Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you (check)
2. Post the rules on your blog (check - you're looking at them)
3. Write 6 random things about yourself (see below)
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them (see below)
5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog (more work)
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up (oh... I'll definitely let her know!)

OK - Here are the six random things about me (rule number 3):


1. I am so very grateful for Jesus! I cannot imagine a life without Him and it makes me very sad for all the people in the world who do not have Him in their lives. What is the point of a life without Him? How could you live without hope?

2. This is sad... I'm only on number 2 and I'm having trouble thinking of something to say. Ummmm... let's see... Oh, I know... I don't have any wisdom teeth. (I guess that explains a lot, doesn't it?)

3. I love "kid" movies like "Matilda," "The Secret Garden," "Nancy Drew," and "Willy Wonka." I could watch this kind of movie all day... and I have. I love a good rainy day movie marathon! (Especially with a mug of International Coffee's Chocolate Orange flavored drink.)

4. My 14-year-old son, Nick, passed me in height about three years ago! He loves getting the measuring tape out and checking our heights. Mine doesn't change but he says old people shrink so he's waiting. I'm 5'1 1/2" (at this height - you mention the half). Nick thinks its very funny to walk behind me in the grocery store and ask if I need help reaching something on the middle shelf!

5. When I was a kid, I wanted to be an archaeologist, a veterinarian, or a nun when I grew up. Then I discovered that archaeologists spend all their time digging in the hot desert; veterinarians did more than just pet the puppies and kitties (there are needles involved), and nuns don't have children. I quickly ruled out all three occupations. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. (I may re-visit the nun thing after Nick grows up and leaves me!)

6. My favorite thing to do is to host small dinner parties. I'm not comfortable in large groups of people but I love having small, intimate groups of close friends come over so I can spoil them. I love to cook fancy meals with all the extra fluff and decorations. I like to wait on them. Honestly, I would feed them if they let me! (No lie - I honestly peeled grapes for my husband.) I have always loved taking care of people (especially cooking for them) and making them feel special. Sadly, Nick would be happy with frozen pizza every night. He is not too interested in any of my culinary experiments so I have to invite guinea pigs over every now and then! You should have seen the look on his face when I made duck! Priceless!

Whoooo Hooooo! I did it. I came up with six random things about myself. Now let's see if I can come up with six friends to tag!

The first four on my list, I'm listing simply because they are among the kindest, most encouraging women I "know." Their sites are amazing. What they share is amazing. Each has such a heart for Jesus and it shines through in everything they do. I think you will enjoy getting to know them too!

1. Amylbrooke.blogspot.com (God's Work in Progress)

2. DianeApplewhite.blogspot.com (Stand Still, let God Move You)

3. Joyinthetruth.blogspot.com (Sharon Sloan)

4. Diggingforpearls.blogspot.com (She recently posted the A-Z list of things about herself so having to come up with only six should be easy for her!)

These next two are widows like me. I think Kitty and I have similar hearts when it comes to this thing called "widowhood." The word "widow" just doesn't express what is truly in our hearts. We have joy in Jesus and that makes such a difference. It is this joy, and our children, that makes life worth living. Our husbands didn't leave us. They aren't lost. We know exactly where they are and, while we are sad not to have them in our lives at this time, we know that we will see them again.

Southeastcountrywife just touches my heart. Her husband died such a short time ago. Her blog entries journal her wedding, honeymoon, and her husband's death. It is a startling reminder that we should never waste a single moment. She is going through a lot of issues related to his death right now so please keep my new friend in your prayers.

5. kittyhinkle.blogspot.com

6. southeastcountrywife.blogspot.com


OK - job complete. I just have to go and let these ladies know that they have been tagged! Thanks, Luanne for forcing me to think this late on a Friday afternoon!