As usual, life has been crazy.
As usual, I am grateful for it.
The crazier things are, the less time I have for my mind to wander down a path that I would rather not walk down. Looking outward to others instead of inward has helped me through the darkest of days. There is always someone who is hurting more than I am. And, in helping, God is healing. "A Widow's Might" was born out of my desire to pour myself into others. God never wastes our pain and if He could use my pain to help even one other woman, it was worth admitting the stuff that I had been keeping inside.
When I first launched "A Widow's Might," the idea was to have more of a community blog where a group of women in this season of life could share our feelings. However, the women God put on my heart to do this with weren't quite in the same place as I was at the same time. For a variety of reasons, life just kept them busy in other ways. "A Widow's Might" became a "solo" venture which is not what I intended.
The truth is... I do not feel like a widow 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don't always have something profound to share with you on "A Widow's Might." (Actually, it's pretty rare that anything profound comes out of my mouth - hahahaha!) I don't always have something that I need to scream about. I don't always have a life-lesson to share. But isn't this GOOD news?
Seriously?! Some days I'm just downright happy all day and I don't cry myself to sleep. If this journey is new to you, I pray that you find hope in this statement.
The thing is... we all grieve differently and on different time tables. I still cry on every significant anniversary (birthdays, holidays, our "firsts," our "lasts," the anniversary of Ron's death, etc) because Ron isn't here. I still cry when Nick receives an award at school and I hide tears at Nick's tennis games because Ron isn't sitting beside me watching our son. I still cry myself to sleep from sheer loneliness a few times every month (especially when I'm hormonal!) I still cry when I see an older couple holding hands, knowing that I will never have that. I still cry because it is very likely that I won't have a happily ever after.
But... I also laugh. I laugh a lot. I am happy a lot. God has put wonderful people in my life... people who fill some of my empty spaces and bring me great joy. In just a few weeks it will be the 13th anniversary of Ron's change of address. Thirteen years ago he went to live with Jesus. The fact that he is with Jesus is a source of happiness for me, too. That doesn't mean that I won't cry a lot on April 19th and it certainly does not mean that I won't cry myself to sleep that night. But, on the 20th, I will wake up to a new day and a fresh start. God's mercies are new EVERY day.
OK - so what's my point?
Well.. remember those gals that God put on my heart to share "A Widow's Might" with? Their lives are now at a place where God is calling them to share too! Beginning very soon, we will be turning this into a community blog with 4-5 of us sharing our experiences, our lives, our hurts, our triumphs, and our hearts with you. I am so excited!
Each of us has a different story to tell and different life experiences that have helped to define who we are. You may connect with some and not with others. By each of us sharing from our own hearts, you will hear different perspectives. By joining together we hope to encourage you in ways that are more personal and helpful to you as an individual. And, with all of us contributing, you will hear from us much more often!
I don't have an exact start date but I will begin making a few changes to this site very soon. Then, in a few weeks, we will welcome you to a new and improved "A Widow's Might" and I will introduce you to a handful of amazing women who have walked the same road that you are on. Each of them inspires me and I know they will be a blessing to you as well.
Much Love,
LeAnn
