I am so overwhelmed by your words of encouragement and your prayers in response to my last post "Pit of Loneliness." But mostly, I am overwhelmed by those of you who have privately emailed me to share your own feelings of loneliness. I didn't write that post because I wanted to. God nudged me in a way that I simply could not ignore. I didn't know why I had to share those feelings until I read your emails. I think some of you needed to know that you were not alone.
I wish I could tell you that I'm permanently out of the pit but I know that this is not true. Those of you who have lost your husband, or someone close to you, know that this is a one-day-at-a-time process. We have good days and bad days.
I have two coping methods.
One is to keep myself as busy as possible. The busier I am, the less time I have to wallow in self-pity. The less time I have to feel lonely. The less time I have to think about what I don't have. I find that if I can focus on others it takes my mind off of me. And... isn't that what Jesus asks of us? We should be focused on others and not ourselves. I am not the only sad and lonely person in the world. I am not the only person who has suffered a loss. The world is filled with people who have no home, no food, and who live in fear. The world is filled with people who don't know Jesus.
By focusing my energy on helping others, whether that means babysitting for a friend, making a meal for someone who just got out of the hospital, volunteering at the local soup kitchen, teaching Sunday School, etc, I am not self-focused. I imagine that Jesus was lonely. He poured Himself into others and I am TRYING to learn by His example.
The other way that I cope with loneliness is to allow Jesus to fill all my empty spaces. I don't succeed at this every day (I just posted on www.LeAnnRice.com about my struggles in this area) but I am making a concentrated effort. You would think that knowing that God loves me overwhelmingly and unconditionally would pull me to Him each and every morning but somehow I allow myself to get distracted by that next load of laundry or the dishes in the kitchen sink.
However, I do stop throughout the busyness of each day (the busyness I create) to take a deep breath and allow His Spirit to fill me. With each breath I remind myself that I am dearly loved.
So... what are your coping methods? How do you get through the hard days? We are in this together!
Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn
Monday, October 19, 2009
I Feel Loved
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3 comments:
My answer is not uberspiritual but I will throw it out there.
I listen to music-- sometimes it's sad music that just meets me where I am and sometimes it's praise music, favorite tunes from the 80's, etc. Music always makes me feel better. I also watch old thirtysomething episodes on YouTube or treat myself to a favorite old movie. Yes, I know. I am a dork. Whatever works, though!
I just found this site this morning; one year after the death of my husband. It has been a difficult week. My prayer support is wonderful; but it isn't the same as being wrapped in my husband's arms and hearing his words of encouragement, support and love. Thank you for these words - I need to feel loved!
Sometimes I have to fill my head with the word, I get out my bible and I beg God to give me a word, I go before Him in all honesty and naked before Him, I pour out my hurts and disappointments and "whys" (He already knows them anyway) and I enter into a relationship with Him, I speak to Him and He speaks to me through His word. He has never once failed to give me a word when I needed it, it may be not what you think, He is full of surprises. But when I am hurting the most, I ask Him to be big on my behalf and to make His presense known. There is a very thin veil seperating us from Him, we cant' see Him with our eyes, but He is most certainly there. I think one day we will be shocked when we watch the old tapes of our lives in Heaven, every scene, He was right there. We serve a very compassionate God who is GOOD. He has no choice but to be good. I am single, and I have been experiencing a very big loss over this past year, and it has turned my life upside down, and I know I will never be the same again. But I do know that His glory is at stake, or He would have never allowed it to happen. So I have to trust He knows what He is doing. And it all has a purpose. So I encourage anyone who is struggling with loss or lonliness, to look up,let His face shine upon you and hold on to His words and promises and know that this is not our home, and that we are living for eternity. Praying for you....
ck
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